When kids AND parents have a diagnosis, with Tanya Valentin

A couple months ago I was talking to a mom about her family. She shared that her kids are both neurodivergent, and so is she, and so is her partner! She felt like the most challenging part was knowing how to support them socially when she feels socially challenged herself.

In my experience, when kid(s) AND parent(s) have a diagnosis, it tends to play out in one of two ways:

Scenario 1: personality conflicts abound and relationships are difficult. This was the story for Ann Coleman, who was on the podcast two weeks ago.

Scenario 2: mutual understanding and shared experiences create deeper relationships. This is the story for Tanya Valentin, who is my guest on this week's episode.

Here's a clip from the episode:

So first of all, my first sort of thing, the thing that I think is the most important thing is radical acceptance. And what I mean by that is kind of throwing out the rulebook when it comes to parenting. And also just parenting the child that you have. You know, I think there is so much, like, programming or perception of like, how your parenting journey should go, or what your child should be like, how they should show... turn out, what successful parenting looks like, what success in general looks like for a human being. And a lot of it actually doesn't apply to neurodivergent people, neurodivergent families. And so the first thing that I really want to just kind of put out to parents is that radical acceptance is going to be your friend, you know, and so that means looking at your child, looking at your family, and deciding what actually works for us.

Listen to the podcast episode.

Watch on YouTube.

PS. The parent I mentioned at the top of this email asked me if I ever teach family classes, and I thought that was an amazing idea! If you find yourself in a similar position where you aren't sure how to help your kiddo because you also struggle socially, I'd love to hear from you.

Where to find Tanya:

Social Media: @TanyaValentinNZ

www.TanyaValentin.co

Podcast: The Seen, Heard, Accepted Podcast